I thought I had felt it all. I thought that my world was spinning and spiraling down. It wasn’t; yet. I asked for it. He gave me the world and I continued to ask for more. A gluttonous cry baby pleading for more. Now that I have none of it, what would I do just to feel the warmth of his skin on the small of my back. Oh, to be happy with what I had.

I’m sorry.

I know you’ve done this for the benefit of me, to learn to love myself outside of you. I fear you were relieved when you came home to my clothes and clutter gone. Four years I slept and woke with you. I wish I could take away your pain, I wish the last two years were different. We have grown together, but my growth was stuck to you.

Four years I came home to the loud meows and suddenly my life is silent.

I want to be better. I miss you.